If this were a book, I think this is where I would type out “Preface.”
This isn’t a book, and I want you to keep reading, so I’ll make this short and sweet 🙂
I met James when I was 16 years old at one of those conferences you attend for the sole purpose of adding it to your college transcript. I liked him. I asked him to Prom. A year later, we got married. Why? Well, we got into colleges that would separate us, and we didn’t want that. James didn’t want me to give up the college of my dreams without a commitment. So we made one. We got married. We got married the week I turned 18.
The point of this series is to give insight into a not perfect, but solid foundation of a healthy (do I dare use this word?!) marriage. James and I haven’t figured everything out. What we have done, and continue to do is grow together, listen to one other, and make changes where changes need to be made.
As a wedding photographer, my number one job is to make lasting memories for my couples. With over 15 years of marriage behind me, (and who knows how many years ahead?!) I realize there are SO MANY things I had to learn about marriage that is valuable to newlyweds!
Things no one tells you about (especially at 18…), like how the first 6 months of marriage are really hard! I know I’m not the first person to say that, but at the time, I felt like the only one feeling that way.
Or how about sharing things! Yea! Being so young when I got married, I didn’t necessarily have a lot of my own time, belongings or personal space. However, soon after marriage, the routine of having someone else around all the time hit me, and I had to re-evaluate how I was going to adjust to this life.
How about fundamental differences? That’s a fun one! Going to bed angry? I still do this. I really need to sleep on it, and sometimes you need to let off a little steam, because the alternative is not getting any sleep. If I really have to apologize before going to bed…Mark my words: I will let the sun rise on my bloodshot eyes if I’m not ready to settle a debate.
I know there’s more. So much more. And that’s why I decided to write about this.
This may come as a shock to you, but I’m not very good at commitment. Marriage? Yes. My business? Yes. My personal life? Not really. I mean, there’s a reason I found a trainer (an AMAZING trainer) to come to my home to force me to workout…it’s because I would have given up long ago! So, this is big…
I’m making a commitment to blog about marriage. The good, the bad, the difficult, all of it, at least once a month. Will you hold me to it? I will not be offended by reminders. Email me. Text me. Instagram spam me. Knock on my office window, if you’re ever walking by my Gladstone office. Because despite my lack of commitment, I truly think this is important.
A teenage marriage that makes it this long isn’t just luck. It’s not even that we “worked so hard.” Sometimes taking yourself to seriously can be your worst enemy! It is only by the grace of God that we have made this work, because we are not perfect.
I read this intro to my husband, and said “you’re going to have to help me remember all the funny stories and stupid things we did so I can retell them.”
He replied: “Oh, we did plenty of stupid things.”
I cannot wait to share!