Lies We Believed & Changes We’ll See
Welcome to 2021! While we haven’t seen much improvement in these first couple of weeks of the new year…okay we’ve seen no improvement in these first couple of weeks. Let’s be honest! 2020 changed us. Let’s talk about the most circulated lies of 2020 and how we can have a positive outlook on the future of weddings! Because you deserve to be married already! Let’s find ways of sparking joy where we can, shall we?
Lie #1: We can’t get married in a pandemic.
I have 14 weddings I can show you, that say otherwise. All of them took place during a pandemic. Yes, they all looked different. But doesn’t every relationship look different? Shouldn’t a couple’s wedding be as unique to them as they are to everyone else? Every wedding I photographed in 2020 looked and felt different, but in wonderful ways. Some were full day weddings with 100 guests. Other weddings were one hour church ceremonies where they married, God as their witness. Other weddings were quick elopements in the middle of the big city where strangers walking by could witness the joyous occasion!
They were not only meaningful, they were memorable! Not a single person witnessing these weddings will ever forget them! And when the next generation grows up and hear’s the story, and how these couples made the best of a horrible pandemic, it will be their favorite story. Life is too short to wait for perfect. That’s not what it’s about. It’s about choosing love over perfection and commitment over bounty!
Lie #2: We have to get married on a Saturday.
This one is my favorite. There are only about 52 Saturdays in the year. And if you’re getting married in the northeast, only about 25 of those Saturdays offer comfortable weather. So you’re competing with a whole lot of other couples wanting Saturday weddings. Not only does this make venue availability slim, it makes your other one-a-day vendors even more scarce.
Venues, planners, photographers, bands, DJs and videographers can only do one wedding a day. So you have five vendors you have to secure quickly in order to see your dream wedding come together. I understand that weddings typically have a rehearsal dinner/welcome party and then a morning after brunch, making the wedding a three day event. However, I do believe your guests who know and love you will be more than happy to be flexible for your wedding plans, on any other day of the week. And I mean any day!
Why not have a Thursday wedding? Did you ever come home from an active “vacation” and need a vacation from your vacation? That’s kind of how everyone feels after a wedding weekend. But if it’s back to work on Monday, you had no vacation. Why not consider a Thursday or Friday wedding, giving your guests the weekend to recover? Not only will they be grateful for the time, they also don’t have to choose between your wedding and another loved one’s wedding that ultimately will be scheduled for the same popular date.
Looking forward to 2021 and 2022, the dates are booking faster than I have ever seen in 10 years of business. If you are in the beginning phases of planning your wedding, look into a weekday wedding! Not only do venues charge a lower rate for these dates, but you can create your dream vendor team because of their abundant availability!
Lie #3: We’ll wait until things go back to “normal.”
This is a touchy subject, but I’m going for it anyway. I don’t think things will go back to what we knew as “normal.”
Think about the past year. How has it changed you? It’s changed everyone. We value new things, and spend our time in different ways. Most of us don’t even have a commute anymore, and the thought of having wasted an hour or more each day commuting to the office has us baffled. Even my Stitch Fix shop has been pushing for loungewear over office attire for months. If you’re not in scrubs or uniform, you’re most likely sporting pajama pants and sweaters!
There are some things that have quite honestly changed for the better. Going back to “normal” is like trying to unlearn all the things we learned over the past year. It doesn’t make sense. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but there is always a bright side! I live for bright sides! We have deeper relationships with loved ones. We make time for each other. We’re on Zoom more often than we ever talked before! Some of us have had more time to get to know our neighbors, or have been given the chance to go back to school! We can educate ourselves about the goings on of the world and how we can make this a better place for us to live and the future generation.
So what does our new world look like for weddings? How about micro weddings and minimonies, followed up with a grand reception? We have plenty of weddings “Part II” we’ll be capturing this year and I cannot wait! Having a two part celebration makes that much more to look forward to!
Lie #4: We can’t have our dream wedding.
I disagree! Having your dream wedding is just going to take some more creativity! I witnessed four weddings in 2020 that were planned in under 50 days. UNDER 50 DAYS! And they were absolute dreams! These couples either changed all of their wedding plans (goodbye, destination wedding in Mexico!) or got engaged and decided to take advantage of the recent availability of some spectacular venues and vendors (Hello, Natirar!)
All of them, surrounded by the most special people in their lives. Guest lists were shorter, but quality time with guests was longer. And not having to spend so much of the budget per plate allows for other accommodations that make each wedding that much more special. What would you spend your budget on if you could free up a few seats on the “B list?”
Now, I know some of my couples could quite possibly have 200+ close friends and family. It’s possible! 10 of my newlyweds are planning a larger celebration in the future! Who says the party has to be done in one occasion? We’re wedding pioneers here, making way for a new way to celebrate commitment and love!
Lie #5: 2020 ruined all of our plans.
Okay, maybe 2020 changed all of our plans. But it didn’t ruin them. I can come up with several good things that came out of 2020. I spent more time with loved ones. Learned to make deeper relationships with those I love a priority. Made a three layer chocolate cake containing five sticks of butter, and made me gain seven pounds. I documented the ways we spend our days and added new routines that force me to read more and find my true purpose.
I will never be the same before 2020. And as far as changing our plans? Is that always a bad thing? Sometimes we make uninformed plans that wouldn’t have worked out to our benefit anyway. I think there are several plans that I looked forward to in 2020 that now no longer hold sway. My purpose has changed, my time and energy are focused on different things. I’ve learned balance and flexibility. None of those are bad things.
Whew! That was a lot. In the end, you have to make the choice that’s right for you. I can’t make that decision for you, but sometimes peer pressure and panic (hello bridal facebook groups!) can make your decision feel overwhelming! I hope these exposed lies help you to make a conscious choice of how you’re going to start your “happily ever after” on the right foot! Whatever you decide for your wedding day, we are here for you and happy to capture your celebration in any way you choose to hold it!
For more info about planning your wedding in 2021, here are some great resources:
Brides: Marriage in the ‘New’ America: A Pandemic, Equality, and an Industry Ready for Change
The Knot: Top Wedding Trends of 2021
Insider: 6 Wedding Trends that Will Start to Disappear and 9 You’ll See Everywhere
Lies We Believed & Changes We’ll See Welcome to 2021! While we haven’t seen much improvement in these first couple of weeks of the new year…okay we’ve seen no improvement in these first couple of weeks. Let’s be honest! 2020 changed us. Let’s talk about the most circulated lies of 2020 and how we can […]